i want..i am...ok i am just procrastinating

sorry its been so long, i have had a hectic and busy past month or so and i am finally getting back on track and back to sanity...i almost typed insanity lol because that is where i am at right now...as i am sitting in my new room on the toher side of the house..i am going through the thoughts in my head and wondering how to sort them out and what is more important to me right now ... do i want to figure out my homework schedule and realize that i have so much to do and not a lot of time to do it in? or do i want to sort through my life and figure out what i want and handle it that way...ok lets go with the second one shall we?? sounds more fun!

ok so lets get things settled and straightend out....i am now part of two gyms and will end my membership at 21st century health club when i graduate in may from sonoma...i just recently became apart of 24 hour fitness...a place where i sore to myself i would never go because of all the men in there who want to just bulk up and show off their muslces...i cant stand that.!!! ok whatever over it and now i am in that gym with all those wanna be muscle men and i just go to the corner and run on the treadmill lol... so as i am running today i am thinking about all the things i want with a newer body and all the things i used to do with my skinnier body...do you realize how much better you feel about yourself when you are skinny? so instead of keeping all of these thoughts in my head...i figured i would share them with everyone... i was told to make a list of everything u want to be skinny for and reasons why you want to be skinny whether they are selfish or not selfish...so here is my list and it could be a long one...so lets go!!

1. i want to wear a size 10 or less
2. i want to shop in every store at the mall
3. i want my boobs to go down to a C or B cup...lord please!!!
4. i want to be healthy and not feel like im shutting down
5. i want to wear spandex again and feel like i look hot :)
6. i want to wear a shirt that i have to wear a strapless bra for because i cant wear those right now...
7. i want to wear a bikini..if that will ever happen...lord i hope...
8. i want to be able to have children when i grow up
9. i want to run 10 miles and it feel good and not a pain in the ass
10. i want people to notice...to walk up to me and say wow you look great
11. i want to feel like people dont underestimate me and look at me and want to get to know me
12. i want to stay the same person i am now...just in a better and healthier body

ok so there is more i bet and more will come when i keep thinking...but those are for later posts right? ok so i also read a book called The Secret...NOW! I have come to like this book very much and i will be doing the things in this book because i think that they truly do work...now they say that if you believe something it will happen...and if you put positive thoughts into your mind that will happen too...so these things i am going to say to myself will be cocky and will be out there but they are positive and i believe them...so this will happen...

1. i am a healthy person
2. i am skinny
3. i am sexy
4. i am a great and outgoing person
5. i eat healthy food
6. i am the best i can be

ok so i think you guys get the drift...i wish there was some way i could start this to be public and i could get more followers because i think that the more people you get to be held accountable for..the more you are to do the things you want...soooo if you can..spread the word...it would be great help! alright i am off to do more homework..i have procrastinated enough....going to the gym tomorrow morning...again...and we will try this one more time 24 hour fitness...i expect my treadmill in the corner to be empty for me :) thanks!

ps...GO SHARKS!!!

THIS IS HOW WE DO IT!

update on today...i went to the gym twice today..ran/walked two miles this morning..woke up at 615 and dragged myself out of bed to go...then i went to school blah blah and then went to the gym and swam for 40 minutes..i swam more than a mile without stopping! CHICA CHICA YA!!!

but now its nap time..i just ate dinner and i feel like im gonna explode!!!! salmon fills you up man!!! ok check in later!! peace easy home skeasy! lol

waiting for squeeks

so its sunday evening...first day almost under the belt...ok so heres what i did today...i did really well on my diet YESSSSSSSSSS....day one down....i also made my dinners for the next three nights because these r my busy nights with class etc...also some lunches r handy in there as well...

what i realized while doing this...what stopped me beforehand from making dinner etc?? it took me no joke..25 mins (the time i had my salmon in the oven) to make three dinners and put them in a tupperware and just put them in the fridge...geeze!!!! i am just rtealizing everything isnt as diofficult as people make it seem

so now i am watching my sharks game...i hope they pull this one out..i dont like ryan smyth :)

and i just saw the new sharks commercial with JR and thornton for playoff tickets..and i still dont understand why joe thornton is wearing pretty much spandex sharks shorts for this commercial....goodness that guy is crazy.... ok GO SHARKS! love you all check back with you manana....

sunday morning...DISTRACT ME

holy cow...ok...so you know the beginning days of a diet or eating better and doing better...how you sit around and you MISS everything that you used to eat and never felt guilty about eating...ok people...

DISTRACT ME...text me make me do crazy things..shoot send me on some wild goose chase..i dont care...give me ideas to be distracted thats all i want...ive been cleaning..everything will be spic and span..hell i even started to dust shit!!

IM EVEN ONLINE SHOPPING!!!! ok really...help!!! its only 10 am and i need distractions!!!

Tomorrow is the day...

so I had a revelation while watching The Biggest Loser... Now I know many people watch this show and find it very motivating and blah blah blah...Now I might get a little sentimental in this and I might shed acouple tears because I sure did while watching this episode...This is going to be known for all the world to see..I dont know how I will start that but I will...I want to be in the end one fo those stories that people went wow and its all on a blog..right there...yeah its a big dream...but thats kind of how I want to do it...

Sooo let me tell you about this episode...the players got to go home for a week...after 10 weeks being away from everyone they got to go home and show off to everyone their new bodies that arent quite there yet but you can surely tell that they all have lost an extrememly large amount of weight...this in itself made me cry because inside i felt like i wanted that...i wanted to show up one day and have everyone cry and be so excited for me because i finally changed my life around...just that feeling..i want that feeling for once..to be looked at like im someone other than the fat kid...ugh i want that so badly!!!

Then there was the time when the son and dad came in...and ok...the dad lost weight and the son lost A LOT of weight..their mom is super skinny..but they have a son still back home who is a big boy..big big boy...now this is where my heart broke and it made me realize evertyhing....the chubby son started to ball...just crying uncontrollably..and they interviewed him later and he said that now hes the only fat one in the family..and that it scared him and he didnt like him...he didnt want to be the only fat kid...and he needed to change cause he didnt want that label...

OK now tell me if you saw that and if you tdidnt cry..you are insane!!! god that kid hit every point in my mind that just makes me want to get my shit together and lose weight...WHO WANTS TO BE THE FAT KID ANYMORE?!?!?! WHO WANTS TO BE MADE FUN OF?!?! WHO WANTS TO BE TURNED DOWN AT THE BARS OR OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU JUST ARENT SKINNY ENOUGH!??!

all of these questions went through my mind and i finally realized that i dont want to be that person..i am changing my lifestyle tonight and tomorrow...tomorrow is the start of my new life...working out twice a day..walking every where and doing what i want to do and when i want to do it...

for all who do not know...I have joined a gym and i have been swimming almost every day! i have also come to the conclusion that it doesnt matter when it happens..but it will..eventually...so please dont pressure me for a deadline because i dont know when that deadline is...its my life and ill let my body do it at my own pace...but i will hold true...to what i promise myself at the end ...thats my deadline and thats my promise to everyone....ill try and get on here everyday and tell you how im feeling but i have been bogged with school work and going to the gym...this will be my escape...so dont get your panties in a tizzy...ill get there...

My promise...I promise to do my best and to go to the gym at least once a day...I promise to walk every where that I can when it is possible...I also promise to become a healthier person by eating right and taking out things that are not healthy...I promise myself that I am not going to cut my life short because of something that I can change and something that is in my control...I promise to do it..and to do it in the allie fashion i know i can do it in"

The Tour of California..my new LOVE

Have any of you experienced the greatness of men (bikers) in spandex?? And no, I do NOT by anymeans count my father in this category because that is WRONG and just NOT right on any account. I am talking about the wonderful men that consist of Lance Armstrong and Levi Lipe whatever his name is....

I went to Santa Rosa today and watched LIVE in the pouring rain and freezing cold temperatures, the tour of california, AMGEM! And it was the most exciting form of sport that I have seen (other than the sharks of course)...there were cowbells and there were lights and flashing pictures and helicopters...It was like Barack Obama came into town...But they were only a bunch of guys who decided they wanted to bike 100 miles a day in the pouring rain! WHO KNEW THAT I WOULD LOVE THIS SPORT SO MUCH????

What made me love it? well, the chevys maragritas and free chips probably had a major impact on my opinion...along with the spandex and their cute butts on the seats...and for a split second when i saw them zoom by me at speeds i will not even think about reaching on a mountain bike....i had a glimpse into my future....my man...i want him to look great in spandex....hahaha ok ok so that is a stretch...BUT LADIES THEY ARE HOTTTTTTT!!!! if you dont believe me...next time it comes around next year...we shall all go...and we shall all have this great time with drooling over men in spandex....and shaking cowbells as loud as you possibly can...yes...

AMGEM...the greatest sport...other than hockey :)

THE COUNTDOWN FOR ALLIE!

269 more days!!! Till Allie has to reveal herself as a new person haha....

I have my goals and if this means i work out three times a day..then so be it! Now my dream dress is there...and yes you all have seen it..i am IN LOVE with this dress...and even though it will take me years on end to achieve it...I AM GONNA DO IT SO DONT PUT ME DOWN!

Newbie...dont worry..i wont show up in yellow and i wont show up in this :) hahaha...this is my countdown....off i go to trader joes...my salsa is calling me