Monday, April 13, 2009

i want..i am...ok i am just procrastinating

sorry its been so long, i have had a hectic and busy past month or so and i am finally getting back on track and back to sanity...i almost typed insanity lol because that is where i am at right now...as i am sitting in my new room on the toher side of the house..i am going through the thoughts in my head and wondering how to sort them out and what is more important to me right now ... do i want to figure out my homework schedule and realize that i have so much to do and not a lot of time to do it in? or do i want to sort through my life and figure out what i want and handle it that way...ok lets go with the second one shall we?? sounds more fun!

ok so lets get things settled and straightend out....i am now part of two gyms and will end my membership at 21st century health club when i graduate in may from sonoma...i just recently became apart of 24 hour fitness...a place where i sore to myself i would never go because of all the men in there who want to just bulk up and show off their muslces...i cant stand that.!!! ok whatever over it and now i am in that gym with all those wanna be muscle men and i just go to the corner and run on the treadmill lol... so as i am running today i am thinking about all the things i want with a newer body and all the things i used to do with my skinnier body...do you realize how much better you feel about yourself when you are skinny? so instead of keeping all of these thoughts in my head...i figured i would share them with everyone... i was told to make a list of everything u want to be skinny for and reasons why you want to be skinny whether they are selfish or not selfish...so here is my list and it could be a long one...so lets go!!

1. i want to wear a size 10 or less
2. i want to shop in every store at the mall
3. i want my boobs to go down to a C or B cup...lord please!!!
4. i want to be healthy and not feel like im shutting down
5. i want to wear spandex again and feel like i look hot :)
6. i want to wear a shirt that i have to wear a strapless bra for because i cant wear those right now...
7. i want to wear a bikini..if that will ever happen...lord i hope...
8. i want to be able to have children when i grow up
9. i want to run 10 miles and it feel good and not a pain in the ass
10. i want people to notice...to walk up to me and say wow you look great
11. i want to feel like people dont underestimate me and look at me and want to get to know me
12. i want to stay the same person i am now...just in a better and healthier body

ok so there is more i bet and more will come when i keep thinking...but those are for later posts right? ok so i also read a book called The Secret...NOW! I have come to like this book very much and i will be doing the things in this book because i think that they truly do work...now they say that if you believe something it will happen...and if you put positive thoughts into your mind that will happen too...so these things i am going to say to myself will be cocky and will be out there but they are positive and i believe them...so this will happen...

1. i am a healthy person
2. i am skinny
3. i am sexy
4. i am a great and outgoing person
5. i eat healthy food
6. i am the best i can be

ok so i think you guys get the drift...i wish there was some way i could start this to be public and i could get more followers because i think that the more people you get to be held accountable for..the more you are to do the things you want...soooo if you can..spread the word...it would be great help! alright i am off to do more homework..i have procrastinated enough....going to the gym tomorrow morning...again...and we will try this one more time 24 hour fitness...i expect my treadmill in the corner to be empty for me :) thanks!

ps...GO SHARKS!!!