Monday, April 13, 2009

i want..i am...ok i am just procrastinating

sorry its been so long, i have had a hectic and busy past month or so and i am finally getting back on track and back to sanity...i almost typed insanity lol because that is where i am at right now...as i am sitting in my new room on the toher side of the house..i am going through the thoughts in my head and wondering how to sort them out and what is more important to me right now ... do i want to figure out my homework schedule and realize that i have so much to do and not a lot of time to do it in? or do i want to sort through my life and figure out what i want and handle it that way...ok lets go with the second one shall we?? sounds more fun!

ok so lets get things settled and straightend out....i am now part of two gyms and will end my membership at 21st century health club when i graduate in may from sonoma...i just recently became apart of 24 hour fitness...a place where i sore to myself i would never go because of all the men in there who want to just bulk up and show off their muslces...i cant stand that.!!! ok whatever over it and now i am in that gym with all those wanna be muscle men and i just go to the corner and run on the treadmill lol... so as i am running today i am thinking about all the things i want with a newer body and all the things i used to do with my skinnier body...do you realize how much better you feel about yourself when you are skinny? so instead of keeping all of these thoughts in my head...i figured i would share them with everyone... i was told to make a list of everything u want to be skinny for and reasons why you want to be skinny whether they are selfish or not selfish...so here is my list and it could be a long one...so lets go!!

1. i want to wear a size 10 or less
2. i want to shop in every store at the mall
3. i want my boobs to go down to a C or B cup...lord please!!!
4. i want to be healthy and not feel like im shutting down
5. i want to wear spandex again and feel like i look hot :)
6. i want to wear a shirt that i have to wear a strapless bra for because i cant wear those right now...
7. i want to wear a bikini..if that will ever happen...lord i hope...
8. i want to be able to have children when i grow up
9. i want to run 10 miles and it feel good and not a pain in the ass
10. i want people to notice...to walk up to me and say wow you look great
11. i want to feel like people dont underestimate me and look at me and want to get to know me
12. i want to stay the same person i am now...just in a better and healthier body

ok so there is more i bet and more will come when i keep thinking...but those are for later posts right? ok so i also read a book called The Secret...NOW! I have come to like this book very much and i will be doing the things in this book because i think that they truly do work...now they say that if you believe something it will happen...and if you put positive thoughts into your mind that will happen too...so these things i am going to say to myself will be cocky and will be out there but they are positive and i believe them...so this will happen...

1. i am a healthy person
2. i am skinny
3. i am sexy
4. i am a great and outgoing person
5. i eat healthy food
6. i am the best i can be

ok so i think you guys get the drift...i wish there was some way i could start this to be public and i could get more followers because i think that the more people you get to be held accountable for..the more you are to do the things you want...soooo if you can..spread the word...it would be great help! alright i am off to do more homework..i have procrastinated enough....going to the gym tomorrow morning...again...and we will try this one more time 24 hour fitness...i expect my treadmill in the corner to be empty for me :) thanks!

ps...GO SHARKS!!!

Monday, March 23, 2009

THIS IS HOW WE DO IT!

update on today...i went to the gym twice today..ran/walked two miles this morning..woke up at 615 and dragged myself out of bed to go...then i went to school blah blah and then went to the gym and swam for 40 minutes..i swam more than a mile without stopping! CHICA CHICA YA!!!

but now its nap time..i just ate dinner and i feel like im gonna explode!!!! salmon fills you up man!!! ok check in later!! peace easy home skeasy! lol

Sunday, March 22, 2009

waiting for squeeks


so its sunday evening...first day almost under the belt...ok so heres what i did today...i did really well on my diet YESSSSSSSSSS....day one down....i also made my dinners for the next three nights because these r my busy nights with class etc...also some lunches r handy in there as well...


what i realized while doing this...what stopped me beforehand from making dinner etc?? it took me no joke..25 mins (the time i had my salmon in the oven) to make three dinners and put them in a tupperware and just put them in the fridge...geeze!!!! i am just rtealizing everything isnt as diofficult as people make it seem


so now i am watching my sharks game...i hope they pull this one out..i dont like ryan smyth :)


and i just saw the new sharks commercial with JR and thornton for playoff tickets..and i still dont understand why joe thornton is wearing pretty much spandex sharks shorts for this commercial....goodness that guy is crazy.... ok GO SHARKS! love you all check back with you manana....


sunday morning...DISTRACT ME

holy cow...ok...so you know the beginning days of a diet or eating better and doing better...how you sit around and you MISS everything that you used to eat and never felt guilty about eating...ok people...

DISTRACT ME...text me make me do crazy things..shoot send me on some wild goose chase..i dont care...give me ideas to be distracted thats all i want...ive been cleaning..everything will be spic and span..hell i even started to dust shit!!

IM EVEN ONLINE SHOPPING!!!! ok really...help!!! its only 10 am and i need distractions!!!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Tomorrow is the day...

so I had a revelation while watching The Biggest Loser... Now I know many people watch this show and find it very motivating and blah blah blah...Now I might get a little sentimental in this and I might shed acouple tears because I sure did while watching this episode...This is going to be known for all the world to see..I dont know how I will start that but I will...I want to be in the end one fo those stories that people went wow and its all on a blog..right there...yeah its a big dream...but thats kind of how I want to do it...


Sooo let me tell you about this episode...the players got to go home for a week...after 10 weeks being away from everyone they got to go home and show off to everyone their new bodies that arent quite there yet but you can surely tell that they all have lost an extrememly large amount of weight...this in itself made me cry because inside i felt like i wanted that...i wanted to show up one day and have everyone cry and be so excited for me because i finally changed my life around...just that feeling..i want that feeling for once..to be looked at like im someone other than the fat kid...ugh i want that so badly!!!


Then there was the time when the son and dad came in...and ok...the dad lost weight and the son lost A LOT of weight..their mom is super skinny..but they have a son still back home who is a big boy..big big boy...now this is where my heart broke and it made me realize evertyhing....the chubby son started to ball...just crying uncontrollably..and they interviewed him later and he said that now hes the only fat one in the family..and that it scared him and he didnt like him...he didnt want to be the only fat kid...and he needed to change cause he didnt want that label...


OK now tell me if you saw that and if you tdidnt cry..you are insane!!! god that kid hit every point in my mind that just makes me want to get my shit together and lose weight...WHO WANTS TO BE THE FAT KID ANYMORE?!?!?! WHO WANTS TO BE MADE FUN OF?!?! WHO WANTS TO BE TURNED DOWN AT THE BARS OR OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU JUST ARENT SKINNY ENOUGH!??!


all of these questions went through my mind and i finally realized that i dont want to be that person..i am changing my lifestyle tonight and tomorrow...tomorrow is the start of my new life...working out twice a day..walking every where and doing what i want to do and when i want to do it...


for all who do not know...I have joined a gym and i have been swimming almost every day! i have also come to the conclusion that it doesnt matter when it happens..but it will..eventually...so please dont pressure me for a deadline because i dont know when that deadline is...its my life and ill let my body do it at my own pace...but i will hold true...to what i promise myself at the end ...thats my deadline and thats my promise to everyone....ill try and get on here everyday and tell you how im feeling but i have been bogged with school work and going to the gym...this will be my escape...so dont get your panties in a tizzy...ill get there...


My promise...I promise to do my best and to go to the gym at least once a day...I promise to walk every where that I can when it is possible...I also promise to become a healthier person by eating right and taking out things that are not healthy...I promise myself that I am not going to cut my life short because of something that I can change and something that is in my control...I promise to do it..and to do it in the allie fashion i know i can do it in"

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Tour of California..my new LOVE

Have any of you experienced the greatness of men (bikers) in spandex?? And no, I do NOT by anymeans count my father in this category because that is WRONG and just NOT right on any account. I am talking about the wonderful men that consist of Lance Armstrong and Levi Lipe whatever his name is....

I went to Santa Rosa today and watched LIVE in the pouring rain and freezing cold temperatures, the tour of california, AMGEM! And it was the most exciting form of sport that I have seen (other than the sharks of course)...there were cowbells and there were lights and flashing pictures and helicopters...It was like Barack Obama came into town...But they were only a bunch of guys who decided they wanted to bike 100 miles a day in the pouring rain! WHO KNEW THAT I WOULD LOVE THIS SPORT SO MUCH????

What made me love it? well, the chevys maragritas and free chips probably had a major impact on my opinion...along with the spandex and their cute butts on the seats...and for a split second when i saw them zoom by me at speeds i will not even think about reaching on a mountain bike....i had a glimpse into my future....my man...i want him to look great in spandex....hahaha ok ok so that is a stretch...BUT LADIES THEY ARE HOTTTTTTT!!!! if you dont believe me...next time it comes around next year...we shall all go...and we shall all have this great time with drooling over men in spandex....and shaking cowbells as loud as you possibly can...yes...

AMGEM...the greatest sport...other than hockey :)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

THE COUNTDOWN FOR ALLIE!



269 more days!!! Till Allie has to reveal herself as a new person haha....




I have my goals and if this means i work out three times a day..then so be it! Now my dream dress is there...and yes you all have seen it..i am IN LOVE with this dress...and even though it will take me years on end to achieve it...I AM GONNA DO IT SO DONT PUT ME DOWN!

Newbie...dont worry..i wont show up in yellow and i wont show up in this :) hahaha...this is my countdown....off i go to trader joes...my salsa is calling me

Saturday, January 17, 2009

ive fought, ive loved, and ive lost...but im walkin tall

Today was a huge day for me...i threw away pictures, i gave goodwill all of his clothes...and i have never been so happy to have a spare drawer to put MORE clothes in THAT ARE MY OWN! yes....i am on the move and i have never felt so much better about myself....i am not going to let him get to me because i am better than him and i am better than her combined...better person....everything...i have nothing to be sad about because i have the best family in the world and the best friends in the world....its true..you never know what you have till you need them the most...and i realized how much my family is there for me how much they are my number one when i was down and out in an ugly situation...i cannot thank them all enough and i will forever be repaying them with love and all i can give....which right now isnt much more than love and pushing forward....



thank you for everything everyone has done..from talking poop with me about how men just suck...and talking about how my life will be so much better...everyone is right and i have now seen how everyone is right...thank you all so much...



im walking tall...no one will be able to cut me short again...because i can see better and know that i wont ever settle for anything less than what i deserve...and i will never let this happen again...



LETS GO SHARKS!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

At least it will be warm there!

This past Sunday...Katie, Josh and I embarked on many new adventures...I will take you through these adventures as we saw them and heard them play out on Rhonda...Our trusty GPS System....

It all started with trying to figure out the street as to which Macy's is on in Union Square...Did you know that there are a total of 5 Macys in SF? No wonder our economy is in a bind!

"Turn right onto south bound 101 in 0.3 miles" Let me tell you what is wrong with this statement....first of all you turn left....second of all..Katie opened an umbrella in the house...so great...the GPS was already trying to screw us over by NOT sending us on the freeway....

"Recalculating"

Getting closer to the golden gate bridge Katie had a brilliant idea...one that josh and i have never done before....gone to the look out of the bridge...u know the one where you see EVERYONE taking the pictures at and where the sleep train mattress commercial takes place...yes folks...i was born and raised in the bay area and have NEVER been to this such place...so we quickly take a turn off the free way...this is where Rhonda starts to get a little fiesty...

"turn left onto 101...continue then turn left...recalculating....recalculating...recalculating....FOR CHRIST SAKES RHONDA WE STOPPED!"

it was going to be a beautiful day in the city .. so what did i wear?? oh yes i did....shorts and flip flops....as we see people wearing PCoats and snow wear...I am climbing this mountain (yes ill call it a mountain) in flips and shorts....not as bad as the lady (who was asian) walking up the hill when we were driving away...in shorts and high heel boots....people these days!!! so we get back in the car and proceed over the bridge and to the city...

recalculating...recalculating...this was something that we heard quite often...

we arrived at macys or a parking structure where we valeted the car...i love going places with katie and josh haha...Jetta does me right...so we went to stores we had a good time....but the best moment occured in Bloomingdales...let me lay out this scene for you...we are approaching the flat boxes of purses that are reduced(becuase that is all i can afford and really cant even afford that)...and there is a guy who works at blooms standing next to it....there is a purse in the corner to which is HUGE and gold sequenced....it was just drawn to me...so i picked up and said YES I WILL BUY IT (i really didnt but here is the best part...) the man that was standing next to the box said immediately.... "and then you can buy a sequenced shirt that matches and go out to the club and he put his hands in the air and proceeded to go...and you can go "WOO WOO"....yes ladies and gentlemen...he did this...i laughed...put the purse down and walked away...HIGHLIGHT OF MY TRIP RIGHT THERE....

recalculating...recalculating...

after union square...we decided to go to the bear facotry on leavenworth...which is no longer there...but on our way there we saw a movie being filmed...almost hit the camera car because the cop didnt know it was coming and told us to go and when we didnt he yelled at us but THE CAMERA CAR IS THERE SIR! stupid cop! and we saw the curvey lombard street...again lived here my whole life and ive never been on this street...so what do we do?? WE GO ON THE CURVEY STREET!!!! there was a nice HELLO from an asian lady...and there were peiople struggling up the hill and going through the curves....jetta made it through nicely...

recalculating...recalculating...

we then proceed to head back home..but decide to go to the movies before we finally head home...BRIDE WARS! chick flick...i loved it...hilarious..and cute...sigh...i love chick flicks...go see it...so over all it was an eventful day..we did things that i thought were never going to be done in my life and i am completly content....as we were talking crap about people in the car i said...we are going to hell...and katie ended our day with the perfect tag line saying....at least its warm there!

my pictures arent uploading!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I am going to be happy!

Here goes nothing!!

My name is allie...and I am turning my life around...no more negative thoughts...no more "what ifs"...no more "i wants"...all of those "I wants"...I am going to get...I am not saying it will be easy...its going to be the hardest thing for me to do in my life probably...but I am doing it...My life...I am going to live it...and I am going to live it like the way i want to because its for me now....I have spent so many nights so many days trying to make other people happy...trying to make the other person laugh...Right now...I need to make myself happy because I cant make others happy if i am not truly there...No more waking up wishing on stars and wishing on things that may not come true...no more wondering "what if"...if it is meant to be..it will all come around and be...and i promise..i will keep this more updated and more interesting...this was just a beginning...

just the first

this is a post just to be a post....i am fixing up my page and then i will give you a long extensive yes to my blog...PATIENCE NEWBIE PATIENCE!