THIS IS HOW WE DO IT!

update on today...i went to the gym twice today..ran/walked two miles this morning..woke up at 615 and dragged myself out of bed to go...then i went to school blah blah and then went to the gym and swam for 40 minutes..i swam more than a mile without stopping! CHICA CHICA YA!!!

but now its nap time..i just ate dinner and i feel like im gonna explode!!!! salmon fills you up man!!! ok check in later!! peace easy home skeasy! lol

waiting for squeeks

so its sunday evening...first day almost under the belt...ok so heres what i did today...i did really well on my diet YESSSSSSSSSS....day one down....i also made my dinners for the next three nights because these r my busy nights with class etc...also some lunches r handy in there as well...

what i realized while doing this...what stopped me beforehand from making dinner etc?? it took me no joke..25 mins (the time i had my salmon in the oven) to make three dinners and put them in a tupperware and just put them in the fridge...geeze!!!! i am just rtealizing everything isnt as diofficult as people make it seem

so now i am watching my sharks game...i hope they pull this one out..i dont like ryan smyth :)

and i just saw the new sharks commercial with JR and thornton for playoff tickets..and i still dont understand why joe thornton is wearing pretty much spandex sharks shorts for this commercial....goodness that guy is crazy.... ok GO SHARKS! love you all check back with you manana....

sunday morning...DISTRACT ME

holy cow...ok...so you know the beginning days of a diet or eating better and doing better...how you sit around and you MISS everything that you used to eat and never felt guilty about eating...ok people...

DISTRACT ME...text me make me do crazy things..shoot send me on some wild goose chase..i dont care...give me ideas to be distracted thats all i want...ive been cleaning..everything will be spic and span..hell i even started to dust shit!!

IM EVEN ONLINE SHOPPING!!!! ok really...help!!! its only 10 am and i need distractions!!!

Tomorrow is the day...

so I had a revelation while watching The Biggest Loser... Now I know many people watch this show and find it very motivating and blah blah blah...Now I might get a little sentimental in this and I might shed acouple tears because I sure did while watching this episode...This is going to be known for all the world to see..I dont know how I will start that but I will...I want to be in the end one fo those stories that people went wow and its all on a blog..right there...yeah its a big dream...but thats kind of how I want to do it...

Sooo let me tell you about this episode...the players got to go home for a week...after 10 weeks being away from everyone they got to go home and show off to everyone their new bodies that arent quite there yet but you can surely tell that they all have lost an extrememly large amount of weight...this in itself made me cry because inside i felt like i wanted that...i wanted to show up one day and have everyone cry and be so excited for me because i finally changed my life around...just that feeling..i want that feeling for once..to be looked at like im someone other than the fat kid...ugh i want that so badly!!!

Then there was the time when the son and dad came in...and ok...the dad lost weight and the son lost A LOT of weight..their mom is super skinny..but they have a son still back home who is a big boy..big big boy...now this is where my heart broke and it made me realize evertyhing....the chubby son started to ball...just crying uncontrollably..and they interviewed him later and he said that now hes the only fat one in the family..and that it scared him and he didnt like him...he didnt want to be the only fat kid...and he needed to change cause he didnt want that label...

OK now tell me if you saw that and if you tdidnt cry..you are insane!!! god that kid hit every point in my mind that just makes me want to get my shit together and lose weight...WHO WANTS TO BE THE FAT KID ANYMORE?!?!?! WHO WANTS TO BE MADE FUN OF?!?! WHO WANTS TO BE TURNED DOWN AT THE BARS OR OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU JUST ARENT SKINNY ENOUGH!??!

all of these questions went through my mind and i finally realized that i dont want to be that person..i am changing my lifestyle tonight and tomorrow...tomorrow is the start of my new life...working out twice a day..walking every where and doing what i want to do and when i want to do it...

for all who do not know...I have joined a gym and i have been swimming almost every day! i have also come to the conclusion that it doesnt matter when it happens..but it will..eventually...so please dont pressure me for a deadline because i dont know when that deadline is...its my life and ill let my body do it at my own pace...but i will hold true...to what i promise myself at the end ...thats my deadline and thats my promise to everyone....ill try and get on here everyday and tell you how im feeling but i have been bogged with school work and going to the gym...this will be my escape...so dont get your panties in a tizzy...ill get there...

My promise...I promise to do my best and to go to the gym at least once a day...I promise to walk every where that I can when it is possible...I also promise to become a healthier person by eating right and taking out things that are not healthy...I promise myself that I am not going to cut my life short because of something that I can change and something that is in my control...I promise to do it..and to do it in the allie fashion i know i can do it in"